My son finished his baseball season and there was a closing ceremony for all of the players in the community. He'd had an AWESOME overall season and considering his success, I felt like he would be on the All Star team.
It was not to be and it upset me terribly.
I did not react outwardly in a negative way - I smiled and congratulated the boys who made it. I was happy for them but on the inside I was angry and hurt that the coaches did not choose my son too. I prayed about it and found myself apologizing to God for feeling pain over the situation. I sat alone in my backyard, crying and praying... for a little boy who was not hurting over the seeming slight. He was just glad to get a trophy!
I kept asking God "Why can't I let go of this? Why is it tearing me up so bad if it doesn't bother my son?" I knew as I cried that what had upset me was minor... negligible.... NOTHING in comparison to what some mothers face. As I hurt I thanked God for a healthy boy, a boy who could play a really good season of ball, a boy who was a coachable kid. And I continued to say "I'm sorry God."
And God sent PEACE to me. He made me understand that I could take this to Him in prayer without feeling shame over my emotions. When I was hurt I could pour out my heart to Him, even if I knew it was a bit silly. He loves me! He is there for me! He is my all in all. He created me to love my son and want good things for him. I didn't have to apologize for feeling disappointment when things did not go his way.
God expects me to rely on Him to overcome the hurt - He does not want it to turn into bitterness. It is logical that when I take it to the Him in prayer, He will bring me through the heartache, regardless of what it is about. Yes, I feel a certain amount of embarrassment for my petty feelings but God will help me to behave like His child if I talk to Him about it.
Father God, thank you for hearing my every prayer. Thank you for loving me through my emotional tantrums. Thank you for guiding me to a better attitude. Thank you for a healthy child who can compete in athletics. And thank you for the lessons that we both have learned about sportsmanship. I just praise you Lord... In Jesus name, Amen.
3 comments:
Amen! I hope that you and your family have a great weekend.
Awesome post Jen. Amazing the things God uses to teach us.
Jen, I just know our King is delighted when He sees His Princess trusting and believing Him even though her heart is breaking. He is the healer of broken hearts!!!
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